Memoir

Sean used to have hair. And bangs. When the light reflected off of his head just right, he looked like Simon Cowell. No joke. He was handsome, of course, but his bangs were stuck in the 80's.

Sean is not someone who embraces change. He has probably had this same haircut his whole life. So when I suggested that he shave his head, he said "absolutely not".

Two weeks later, Sean decided that he did indeed want to shave his head. But the barber had to start with a length of 2" and could shave the back as a 1" and fade the two. That way he wouldn't so much feel like he was shaving it.

He loved his new hair about an hour after it was cut, after the initial shock wore off.

And since I had plenty of experience with a razor....



...I told Sean that if he'd like, we could buy one ourselves and I would cut his hair. Sean liked the idea of saving money and not having to go to a barber, but he still looked a little apprehensive the moment before the first time I shaved his head:



I've been cutting his hair for almost two years now, and Sean is completely comfortable trusting me with his precious locks.

He may even be a little too comfortable.

Yesterday, he woke me up at 6AM to cut his hair. He said, "I did most of it, could you just come and touch it up?"

So I SLEEPWALKED into the bathroom, because I am certainly not awake at 6AM, buzzed his hair with my eyes all squinty and asleep, and then I sleepwalked back to bed.

I woke up a few hours later with that oh my god feeling, the one you feel the morning after. I called him at work and waiting to hear if he said anything about his hair. I mentioned it first:

"You know I was totally asleep when I cut your hair this morning, right?"

"Yup." he said, "It looks fine."

"Okay, just checking to make sure I didn't cut an ear off or anything."

We've come a long way from the days of the bangs, and now I'm so used to cutting his hair -- and he's so used to letting me -- that I can do it in my sleep.

But I wouldn't recommend it, you could cut an ear off.

Then...



Now...

My dogs love to swim, but hate the rain. The raincoats make it a little more tolerable for them. Wish they made doggy umbrellas.

Here is what our house looks like during inclement weather:



When it rains, there is nothing better to do than to chase balls in the house and hump your sister. Observe.

I'm fascinated with fire, and yet I'm terrified of it. I love reading books about firemen and deadly fires (a good one is Norman Maclean's Young Men and Fire), I love songs about fire and I even love sitting in front of a roaring blaze in our fireplace.

But I have this phobia, not so much of fire itself, but of a fire getting out of my control. Sean understands this phobia of mine and makes sure we have a heavy duty fire extinguisher readily available. He even bought me a mini extinguisher for my car.

I'm reminded of my phobia tonight because it poured all day, something our dry forests have been needing for a few weeks now. On the drive home, I smelled smoke through my defroster, probably something from outside -- somebody's chimney maybe -- and I panicked. I sniffed furiously, wondering if my car was on fire and whether or not I would have to jump out quickly before the car exploded like they do in the movies.

It's a silly phobia, really, originating from the night I nearly set my father's house on fire when I accidentally knocked a candle into a dried flower arrangement. The burnt hole in the carpet reminded me of how I nearly cost my family our home.

Years later, distraught at the recent news that a close friend of mine had been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, I flicked a lit match into the backseat of my car as I lit a cigarette. I panicked and pulled the car over. No match in sight, no fire to put out, I sat in the backseat for an hour just waiting for the blaze to begin at any moment.

I'm sure I'm not alone here, there are some strange phobias out there:

Agyrophobia- Fear of streets or crossing the street.
Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic
Apotemnophobia- Fear of persons with amputations.
Bibliophobia- Fear of books.
Bolshephobia- Fear of Bolsheviks.
Defecaloesiophobia- Fear of painful bowel movements.
Genuphobia- Fear of knees.
Medorthophobia- Fear of an erect penis.
Mnemophobia- Fear of memories.
Optophobia- Fear of opening one's eyes.
Politicophobia- Fear or abnormal dislike of politicians.
Vitricophobia- Fear of step-father.
Walloonphobia- Fear of the Walloons.
Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat.


I guess I could have a sillier phobia, but phobias are nothing to laugh at. Well, OKay, I guess some of them are. But I am literally petrified of the thought of starting a fire.

What phobias do you have? Ever feel weird for having them?

I hear some sort of gentle talking going on in the living room. The room is pitch black and I can barely make out Sean lying on the floor with the dogs. My camera flash catches the three of them clearly.




They're watching "There's Something About Mary" and Sean explains that he wanted to get down on the dogs' level for a while. Wait, a chick flick? And sweet puppy talk? Sean = sexiest man alive.

What sorts of things does your honey do to make your soul tingle?